Vegas According to Angie

A few years ago my friend Cindy and her husband were planning a trip to Vegas.  They had never been, so she asked me to put together a list of things for them to see and do while they were there. When she got back home she told me the list was a huge hit so the Vegas Must-do List was born.  It has changed and evolved over the years. There are new additions as Vegas is constantly changing and of course the deletion of others which have either closed or we've decided must have sucked all along.  Roger and I typically go to Vegas in July.  Roger's agency sends him to an annual "Fiscal Responsibility" training (ironic that fiscal responsibility training takes place in the gambling capital of the world huh) and I always tag along to keep him company.  If you have never been to Vegas this might help you figure out what you do and don't want to do.  And if you have been to Vegas maybe you will recognize some of your favorites. I should warn you though, we aren't really gamblers so I don't have many good suggestions on the best places to hit it big.   So here it is....Vegas according to Angie

Dining:
When most people think of Vegas, they think of casinos and gambling. I think food and buffets.  Strange I know but its the truth. Now every casino in Vegas is going to have a buffet, but some aren't worth your time or money and others shouldn't be missed.  Our favorite is Spice Market Buffet at Planet Hollywood.  This buffet has every imaginable type of food.   The different cuisines are offered at separate stations and there are dozens to chose from.  The biggest problem you are going to have here is how to discretely unbutton your pants so that you can breath.  We've eaten here for breakfast and dinner and have never been disappointed.  The champagne brunch buffet at the Flamingo is surprisingly good and also inexpensive. The buffet at Ceasars Palace is awful.  This is a real tragedy for us since Ceasars is where we usually stay.  The food isn't very good, the selection is worse and they want you to pay $36.99 for it. No thanks. 
Now the best Restaurant in Vegas is a little hole in the wall called Battista's. Thank you to my sweet cousin Sarah Kay for finding this little gem.  It's off the strip, one block behind the Flamingo.  It is in a little strip mall between a liquor store and a laundry mat (I'm not kidding).  They aren't open for lunch so make plans to go for dinner.  It is all Italian and all delicious.  Battistas is a pay one price, I believe $24.99 for all you can eat and drink.  You chose your main dish and it comes with all you can eat salad, bread, and dessert.  The real treat here is the all you can drink wine.  They bring a carafe of red  and white wine to your table and off you go.  Now Roger isn't a huge wine drinker but even he gets into to spirit here.  Besides the never ending flow of wine and the fantastic atmosphere, there is a cute little old man who comes around to serenade you with his mandolin.  He is about a hundred and four years old and clearly has different ideas regarding appropriate amounts of personal space.  So even with 4 glasses of wine in him, Roger finds him annoying and intrusive.  I however think he is adorable even when he is singing "Mi Amor"  3 inches from my face.   Another favorite restaurant is Serendipity.  It is located right on the strip in front of Caesar's.  They serve burgers, sandwiches and the most incredible ice cream desserts you can imagine.  We enjoyed it so much the last time we were in Vegas we ate there twice!  The outdoor patio is a fun place to people watch if you can stand the heat.  If you don't make it for a meal here at least stop and get a dessert.  While not uniquely Vegas, we always eat at PF Chang's at Planet Hollywood.  If you go at sunset and get a table outside you have a fantastic view of the Bellagio fountains.  My last suggestion for good food in Vegas are any of the really cheap buffets downtown on Fremont Street.  Think $6.99 for all you can eat steak and shrimp; yeah, that's cheap.   This is also where you will find the original casinos like The Golden Nugget and The Plaza. More on downtown and its offerings in a bit.
Fun stuff to see and do:
The water fountain show in front of the Bellagio is an absolute must see. It is set to music and absolutely breathtaking. It starts at the top of the hour all day but it's best to see it after dark because the lights reflect off the lake making it even more beautiful.  The sexy pirate show at Treasure Island (now called TI) is fun. It starts every hour on the hour after dark. Crowds are really heavy so put your wallet in your front pocket and hold onto your purse. The Mirage has an erupting volcano out front. It goes off about every 45 minutes after dark. It is worth seeing if you are in the area and you might get lucky and see some unfortunate pigeon with poor timing accidentally get flambeed by the spewing fire that shoots some 50 feet in the air. The New York New York Casino has a great roller coaster for the adventure seekers.  It closes frequently due to "high winds".  Now I live in Lubbock so I know what high winds look like and seriously a stiff breeze closes this thing down so don't set your heart on riding it.  The casino at NYNY is set like it's in Central Park and is really cool.  We like to stop in to grab a slice of pizza or a pretzel and stroll through.  Cesar's Palace has a fantastic mall that has to be seen to be appreciated.  Likewise, Planet Hollywood has a great mall complete with an indoor thunderstorm including thunder and lightening.  The MGM is massive.  We have walked around that place for hours and I don't think we've seen even half of it.  The main entrance off the strip will take you to the lion habitat which is fun to watch.  Speaking of exotic animals, the Mirage still has their white tigers on display although not as prominently since one of them tried to eat Sigfried, or was it Roy? Anyway, you can still see them just off the main lobby.  The Paris is a beautiful casino inside and out.  When you walk by, stop at the fountain next to the Eiffel Tower and share a kiss.  This is where Roger dropped to one knee and proposed to me so it is an obvious favorite of ours.  Another really fun place to hang out is at Carnival Court outside Harrah's.  It's an outdoor bar with a stage for live music.  This is a great place to sit and relax with a drink.  You can watch the bands and the bar has crazy bartenders.  Think Tom Cruise circa 1988 in Cocktail.  Just inside Harrah's is a great piano/karaoke bar.  O'Shea's is a little tiny casino right on the strip that is easy to miss if you aren't looking for it.  This is one of the few places we actually gamble.  They have really cheap tables and ridiculous games like beer pong and war. 

Downtown:
The downtown area is know as the Freemont Street Experience and is a two block stretch of casinos, shops, and tattoo parlors. This is where the original casinos like Binions and the Golden Nugget are. The best thing down town besides the freak show of locals is the CHEAP and GOOD food (think steak and shrimp for $6.99)as well as the really loose slot machines. There is an amazing light show on an overhead awning. It really is worth the trouble to get there. You can either take a taxi which will cost you about $20 each way from the strip or take the City Bus for about $1.25. Now I should warn you that you will be riding with the common public transit riff-raff. Lots of prostitutes and welfare waitresses. But we are adventurous and usually opt for the bus. On our last visit, I sat next to a scary man with a goiter on the side of his neck the size of a small cat. Needless to say I had lost my appetite for my $2.99 all you can eat rib buffet by they time we got there.

Porn:
If you've never been to Vegas read this part really well.  There is porn everywhere, you just have to learn to ignore it if it offends you.  There are guys (but not just guys, some women as well) standing about every 4 feet for the entire 3 mile stretch of the strip.  Their job is to hand out as many little porn cards as they can.  They literally shove them in your face as you walk down the strip. We affectionately call them the "flickers" because they flick the cards against each other as they forcefully try to hand you one. If you've had a few drinks and want some free entertainment play a little game we like to call mix-up the mexican (don't get offended, my husband Roger CARDENAS named it.) It is a simple game...Take the 1-800 HOTT CHIXX card from Julio and then try to give it to Guillermo who is standing only 3 feet down the strip trying to pass out www.babes2urhotel.com cards. It is hilarious to watch them try to avoid your card while trying to hand out their cards.

Walking:
You will do lots of it. Wear comfy shoes.  Don't be fooled by the deceptive appearance of how close things look. The casinos and hotels are MASSIVE which make them look much closer than they really are. Get the daily tram pass and use it when you can. Many years ago Roger and I decided we would walk from Circus Circus back to the Paris.  NOT RECOMMENDED.  This was the same trip that I had the bright idea to pierce my belly button.  I have managed to suppress most of it but I do have occasional flash-backs of walking in the oppressive heat with a fresh puncture wound rubbing against the waistband of my shorts.  Not my brightest idea! Don't try to hail a cab from the strip, they won't stop.  You have to go into a casino and go to the valet parking area to get a cab.  If you have time to go to the RIO, go. It is off the strip but the gambling is great and the atmosphere is fun. They have a carnival like parade that moves along the ceiling of the casino. They throw beads and trinkets down onto the casino floor as you gamble. Again, don't be tricked into thinking you can walk there from the strip. We tried that once. It took over an hour, we had to cross a major interstate where we not only dodged vehicles but homeless people. I did have the good fortune of becoming uncomfortably familiar with a homeless man who had three teeth, wore a paper birthday hat and kept arguing with a bush. He followed us a good portion of the way but thankfully he stopped to urinate on a stop sign and we were able to get some distance between us.

Well, there it is.  Vegas in a nutshell.